Thursday, November 19, 2009


Do you ever make a decision and then go back and forth on it like a million times?

I hate that.

I used to consider myself really decisive...almost stubborn...but lately I have been easily swayed on almost anything I decide. Whether it's the pair of jeans I just bought or what's for dinner. It's getting ridiculous.

Anyways...I have really been struggling with this the last few days. Matt and I made a pretty big decision together a couple weeks back and both felt at peace about it...and then my emotions got the best of me and got discouraged by the smallest hurdle and I began to question my thoughts and decisions and reasons...

...basically I lose trust in the Lord and doubt his guidance. I need to believe that if God allowed both Matt and I to come to a place of decision together - that it was in the right direction. Even if my flesh doubts. Yes, it confuses me. Yes, it is rather frustrating. I mean why can't I just stick with it and not go back and forth all day long? It's quite exhausting. But...

This morning while I was driving to work...I drive into the sun and usually it's very annoying and slightly blinding...but this morning there were some clouds and it created this beautiful sunrise in the sky. I had prayed before I left home that God will give me a spirit of confidence and faith. Then God allowed me to be reminded through this magnificent sky that HE IS BIGGER than me and my life and decisions. When I can't seem to be at peace within myself (ahem - like right now) least I can be at peace about Him. I like when God reveals Himself through the little things.

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