Thursday, January 26, 2012

First Thoughts

Being a new mom brings on a whole spectrum of emotions.  I am in complete awe of this beautiful little person and cannot believe that God has entrusted her to me.  I am so deeply in love.  I can stare at her for hours - it never gets old.  It is the most surreal feeling knowing that this child grew in my womb and don't understand how people cannot believe in God who created her, the whole process is such a miracle.  She makes me laugh with all her little faces and expressions, even at 3 weeks.  It hurts me when I hear her cry.  I get completely overwhelmed knowing that I am her sole source of nutrients, yet realize what a gift that is.  I have been frustrated when she pees again right after I just changed her (or waits until I take her diaper off) or when her pacifier just won't stay in her mouth.  I have never been so tired in my life.   Some days Matt comes home from work and I go straight to bed.  At 7pm.  It's a good day if I've showered before noon...or even showered at all.  I feel like my house is a disaster, which is really hard on my neat freak side.  My time is not my own anymore.

Being a new mom is challenging.

But she is so worth it.  Our little baby girl is going to one day be a grown-up woman.  She will never be this small again or so dependent on me.  I want to soak it up.  I know this phase is going to go by way too fast.  I never realized how easy it would be to fall in love so quickly.  Plus she is just so darn cute.  I can hardly stand it.
Her first smile caught on camera - bummer on being blurry.

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